Was That God In My Dream?

I had a dream about God(?) several months back...

It's been awhile so let me try to recall my dream.  During the past week before the dream, I wasn't thinking about God or anything about religion.

I dreamt about this old man with long gray hair and a long beard. He asked me whether I am ready.

I didn't answer... I was in deep thought. I was holding on to a book... not sure what book it was... maybe the Bible?

He walked away from me and was about to exit a door... and then I told him to wait and said, "YES, I am ready."

We hugged... and then all of a sudden I felt so relieved and was so happy... and tearing up at the same time. It was happy tears..... and then we flew up into the skies and we were bouncing all over the clouds.

I saw a bright light... it got very bright in an instant and then I just woke up with tears running down my face.

I was still very excited and was asking myself whether that was God or not?

A few days later, I told my sister about the dream and she started tearing up because she had recently prayed with one of her friends for God to show himself to me and again with another friend on Wednesday night that week during her group prayer session. She was shocked and amazed at what happened. She was very happy for my experience and jealous at the same time because she wants to see God also. She said not many people has this opportunity.

Am I that lucky? ;p

My Search for God in 2007

My search for God began in early 2007 in a Catholic church. I stepped in there having doubts about a God and left there thinking that maybe God was really there with me.  I had just lost my job and was feeling very depressed.  For 2 years, I have been passing through this street several times where they had a visitor center which I thought was just a normal visitor center to know more about the city.  One day in 2007, I was drawn by the postcards and so stepped inside for the very first time and was looking at the postcards and then realized it was actually a visitor center for a Catholic church.  A volunteer for the church came over to me and asked whether I believe in a God.  I told him that I grew up a Buddhist and after I took a religion class in college, I became an atheist because I was upset when I found out that Buddhism came from India (no wonder the Buddha statue has dark-toned skin).  So, I didn't know what to believe anymore because religions has been passed down from many generations and they get changed over time.

The volunteer asked, "What will it take for me to believe in God?" and my reply was, "I have to see it to believe it."  He then asked me for a few minutes of my time... to pray for God to show himself to me.  So I
asked him what I needed to do and he said just listen and accept.  So he asked his wife to pray with him and so we all sat down.  I was feeling very anxious.  When he started praying, I also started crying... because I was feeling stressed out... and had too many things on my mind.  As he continued, I felt calm and serenity all of a sudden... I felt that God was there comforting me... and my heartbeat slowed down... and I also stopped crying.  It was a very nice feeling.... It was his wife's turn to pray for me and again I felt the same calmness.  His wife then gave me her contact number and had asked me to call her if I ever wanted to meet up or talk on the phone with her.

I still wasn't sure whether that was God or not.... from that day onwards I began my search for God.  Sometimes I'm still not sure what to believe... I will definitely not have any doubt if God or Jesus can actually show himself to me (not in a dream)... sometimes I wonder whether what I experienced came from another source... from within ourselves cause we only use about 5% of our brain.  Did the couple channel some kind of energy to me (they didn't touch me)?  Or just hearing comforting things... just makes one feel better.  Maybe Quantum theory can explain this...?

I haven't been very good with my search though.... :(  Still haven't done much research on religions.  I do feel closer to God though since I talk to him more nowadays and I pray more often.

I wish that he would just appear in front of me and talk to me.  I'm the kind of person that has to see it to believe it.

So indeed this will be a very long journey.....

During these last few years, I have learned to forgive a few things here and there so I won't feel so much resentment.  I'm the kind of person that will not forget though.... just because I forgive you doesn't mean that I will forget what happened.  It seems that most of the times I only speak to God when I'm in trouble.  I need to speak to him more often on a day-to-day basis.  He's supposed to be my best friend.  I do feel better after speaking to him and sometimes I will have this comforting feeling as if he was there comforting me.

I want to read the Bible to learn more about God. I keep telling myself that but never get around to it.  I finally got the Bible as a gift from my sister sometime last month.

One day, I was feeling overwhelmed and just needed some motivation and inspiration... so I just decided to randomly flip through the pages of the Bible and came across one verse.... I should have taken note of which verse it was because now I can't find it.... it was something along the lines of why am I seeking God if I don't do what needs to be done... I think it was something about building a foundation.  I guess I'll have to read the Bible to find it again.

I hope to become a better person, better wife, and better mom. I don't think I can do it alone. I need God to walk through this with me.

I have just started another blog, http://1on1withgod.blogspot.com, so that I can record some of my talks with God.