What Are Your True Motives?

Looks like I failed again on updating my blog regularly. :(

During these past few months... I have grown so much closer to God than I did in the past few years.  During the past few months, I talk to God each day and throughout the day.  Recently, I have been able to feel God's presence during most of my waking hours. :)

During the past few months, I have been praying for others as well.  I used to be selfish when I prayed because I only prayed for my family.  I didn't understand the power of prayers and I didn't know that praying for others would mean so much to them.... now I do.

As I was growing up, I used to care too much about what people think of me.  I wanted to feel accepted.  I wanted people to like me.  I wanted people to think that I'm good.  I had too much pride.  I guess all this reflects my insecurities about myself.  I wanted to please people... now all that doesn't matter anymore.  I only want to please God.  It doesn't matter anymore what people thinks about me.

Nehemiah was called by God to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem.  After his mission was accomplished, he became governor.  He didn't care for those gifts and food that people wanted to give him.  He didn't take money or anything from the people... because the work he did was for God and he didn't want to take advantage of people's offerings like what the past governors did.  All those material things were not important to him.

The book of Nehemiah made me rethink about my true motives and made me realize that material things are not important.

Last time, I used to hope that I would get gifts for my birthdays, anniversaries, and etc.  Now, all that doesn't matter anymore.  Even though I would say that it wasn't important or not necessary... in my heart, I would hope to get something.  Saying that you don't want something but hoping in your heart for something is putting on a show... what you say is meaningless.  What's important is what is really in your heart... and your actions are able to reflect that.  I used to compare what gifts I got from my parents to the gifts that my siblings got... now all that doesn't matter anymore.

After I gave birth to my two daughters, I used to hope that relatives and friends would come visit me.  Now, all that doesn't matter anymore.  As long as my family is with me... because they are the most important people to me.

How big is the gap between who you really are and who people think you really are?